Accidental Mom

You can learn a lot from a baby, I certainly have. I thought I knew what it felt like to be protective of something or someone. Before I had my little Duper my emotionally over- wrought uncoilings of wanting to protect loved ones were nothing like what dwells glowing in my chest now. The thought of anybody hurting my son sparks a long mental list of the slow and torturous demise of many a fictional boogeyman. A friend of mine picked this out about me early on after my son was born. David has a teenage son. He basically told me to get ready to beat up a lot of kindergartners, because that is what kids do. They taunt, tease, and tussle. Horrible little five-year-old boogeymen.  Trying to lure the Duper back for a diaper with his toothbrush Babies are a lot stronger than people give them credit for. At two weeks old, I was punched in my open eye in the early morning dark as my squalling baby demanded boob. Seeing stars, I was stunned and grateful for not having

As I begin this post, I already know I'm going to leave something out. So much happened physically along the way there's no way to recall it all as my son is now nine months old. That and pregnancy brain turns into mom brain. Yup ladies, yours to keep. Not only am I not going to recall it all, there is no way I am going to remember order of onset so I shall just recall as much as possible working head to toe.    My actual head – starting maybe half way through my pregnancy I developed itching. From my scalp to my feet and everywhere in between. As I got closer to my due date it went from bad to dark place. It was most severe on the very top of my head and the soles of my feet. Because I also had to pee every 15 minutes, Duncan would often find me perched on the potty from his adjoining half bath contemplating whether I should actually go back to bed or just stay there because it already felt like I needed to pee again. The thing that would actually get h

The first time I made eye contact with my child, I fell in love with him. That's when it happened for me. I didn't walk (or waddle) around in love with my baby bump. It happened when I saw him. When he saw me. When we saw each other for the first time. His eyes were wild after 27 hours of pitocin-induced labor and three hours (though you could have told me it was 20 minutes) of pushing. I thought he was pale. Daddy tells me he was grey. I made some randomly strange mental note of how perfect his ears were. It took him a few minutes to cry, and the bed rail blocked my view as I craned my neck to see the nurses suctioning him and giving him oxygen as my OB was stitching up some tearing I had sustained evicting my son from the only home he'd known so far. His discordant protestations were music to my ears. The first, what? Days? Weeks? Were a blur. The twilight zone sleep-deprived haze of having grown and birthed a tiny human is then outdone by t